yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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