Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
