I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
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Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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