THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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