mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
