Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
