He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
