There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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