i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
