your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
