there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
