lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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