i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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