Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
