idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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