I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
