Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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