call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
