He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
There's even glitter on my cock...
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