so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
is that a dick in a sweater?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize