dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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