THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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