Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
