Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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