You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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