the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
