You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
