I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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