i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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