She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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