I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
