she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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