i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
