at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
