Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
