bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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