Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's always time for handjobs
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize