Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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