i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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