Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
