GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
