it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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