TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
