so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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