then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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