9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There's always time for handjobs
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
