I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
