I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
