apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
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if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....