she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.