I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.