I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
