It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.