Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
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I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.