My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
