careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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