dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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