fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
