I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
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She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
as a side note pls kill me
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