Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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