: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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