in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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