ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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