Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
