Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
