I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I deserve this hangover.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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